Ice Cream Gran 7 - Gran Goes Deep

The Hammer and the sickle were emblazoned on its tower This underwater enemy would demonstrate its power The submarine, in covert mode, torpedoes at the ready The crosshairs on the monitor were holding nice and steady The captain said, ‘Dear Comrades, you shall see the west can’t halt Our mission to send shockwaves through the San Andreas Fault.’ The sonar operator said, ‘There’s something coming near, It’s seems to get much closer with each echo ping I hear. ‘It’s playing with our sonar, yet it’s such a tiny craft, I think it may be playing tunes (and everybody laughed) Captain, all the readings say it only holds one man.’ The captain said, ‘Go visual.’… … and they saw an ice cream van * ‘What is this western lunacy, how dare they aim to mock The mighty Russian bear shall now deliver them a shock Fire one on my command and get that spy craft shot Then hit the San Andreas Fault with everything we’ve got.’ ‘Might I suggest,’ the tannoy said, ‘you rescind that command.’ ‘I shall sink your vessel should you not heed my demand.’ The Russian crew all fell about and one said, almost crying, ‘An Ice Cream Van just shook its fist and threatened us with dying’ The captain who was less amused, said, ‘Arm torpedoes… fire! Send that crazy ice cream van to rot in Satan’s mire.’ He watched the screen as all his tin fish sped toward their goals And tried to estimate his count of vanquished western souls In his sights the ice cream van just hovers in midwater The torpedoes are closing and he relishes the slaughter But in the van sits Turbo Gran and Nitro Cat she pats Nitro Cat takes one deep breath and nips out through a hatch He’s buoyed by a ballon that lifts him clear of Gran’s destruction But then he claws that air filled orb as per Gran’s instruction Sprinkles in a hundred colours flutter in the ocean Confusing each torpedo with their visual commotion They twist and turn and loop the loop to relocate their target But Speedy van’s new gadget is distinctly after-market Granny flips a switch that drops the radiator grill Two massive ice cream whisks glide forth as though by their own will Another switch and each of those ice cream whisks start rotating Which is handy as the sprinkles now are dissipating The ice cream whisks spin faster and those torpedoes turn back The crew aboard the Russian sub all find their bladders slack As Nitro Cat reseals the hatch and sheds his sodden cape Turbo Gran turns Speedy ’round and makes good their escape And as the sub explodes and Gran speeds off to save herself In western California a pot falls off a shelf