I Wish I Was the Wizard

I wish I was a tin man Out there cutting wood; I'd rely upon the lube can To keep my elbows good. All day I'd task and toil Until it's time for tea, And then I'd take a squirt of oil To keep my knee joints free. I'd dream about a girlfriend, My dreams then turn to dust; I comprehend at daytime's end I'm just a heap of rust. I'll never find a maid of tin, It's tearing me apart, As when I search my soul, within, I find I have no heart. I wish I was a scarecrow Out, living in a lea. But all the critters there, though, Just jest and laugh at me. I stand about with outspread arms Scaring off the birds, I'm seldom heard around the farms... I'm always lost for words. I dream about a girl of straw Lithe enough to squeeze; My dreams then turn to chaff, and so They blow off in the breeze. I'll never get a spouse of hay, My dreams swill down the drain; I wouldn't know just what to say I haven't got a brain. I wish I was a lion, brave, Roaring mighty roars; Seeing off my foes to save The world from mighty wars. I'd spend my time a-prowling, Vaunting round with pride, Snarling and a-growling... But all I do is hide. I wish I had a lioness To hunt and ply for me; But that will never be, I guess ~ I'm cowardly, you see! I have no courage for to ask A feline for a date; I have no luck ~ I have no pluck I'll never find a mate. So, I wish I was the wizard To save me from the storm; My life is such a blizzard, But who will keep me warm? I long to be a magic man The future I'd foresee... But then again a better plan, I'd rather just be me.