I Wish I Knew How To Be Wise

I wish I knew how to be wise And have that knowing look in my eyes Remaining silent while you nattered As though I knew what really mattered I’d never chat about the weather Or discuss TV when we’re together Always wearing a benign smile Eternal bliss would be my style I’d radiate endless compassion Forgiving all, as is the fashion A fathomless well of generosity In love, unbounded precocity I really think I’d have a flair For worry beads and matted hair I’d hover inches above the ground Odour of sanctity all around My aura would light the darkest place While mortals worshipped my radiant face Transfixed by supernatural beams Flowing like Himalayan streams Now and then I’d emit a platitude While those around would melt in gratitude Dumbstruck by my ethereal emanation The fruit of yogic bowel elimination But if you bowed to kiss my feet (I think that would be really neat) You’d better not smudge my toeless sandals Or comment on my holy love-handles If your chakras had some obstruction I’d offer my course in karmic reduction Having a diploma in kundalini power All cards accepted, pay by the hour I’d burn incense and chant a mantra All legitimate and based on Tantra Tutelary deities could well preside I’d keep a few on the side While priests and sheikhs and rabbis slept I’d meditate like a true Adept Transmitting subtle healing vibes Like the ancient Tibetan scribes If I were wise I’d have no care My whole life would be a prayer No tiresome rules to bother me I’d commune direct with divinity I’d have no truck with full prostration Or other forms of mortification Knowing Maya in her other guise New ways of binding with golden ties Self-abnegation is for lesser beings Fasting, bowing, cleaning latrines Can’t you see it’s below my station? On the path to Realization Yes, I wish I knew how to be wise But I might just have to compromise I'm not in that vaunted league you see I'll have to settle for philosophy