I Will Not Be Silent Anymore

I will not be silent anymore This beating sound in my chest This rythm urging words to spill out, Words I have swallowed lest you judge me Words I have feared to utter Afraid to hear disbelief in your reply Yes...to see doubt and spite in your eyes This beating drums deafening my ears Shutting the world out The world that has refused to hear my silent screams The world that has rejected my pleas for help Their beat has kept me sane. I have carried the scourge and pain too long I have buried your insults so deep they have become a part of me I no longer hear your brawls and drunken snores as you breathe down my throat Your coarse smoke reeking hands will not touch my breast any more Nor will they pat my bum as I pass by you Your feigned control over me Your scary threats that have haunted my mind are slowly fading, failing These scars you have carved on my emotion Stay with me, a constant reminder An awakening alarm, rising me to a change I have become I will not be silent anymore I will not let you do to me what you have done so many times Over and over And you let me believe it was my fault! That I teased and provoked you! I was 12, barely a child What did I know about flirtatious moves or sexual maneuvers You manipulated me You took advantage of my innocence But I will not be silent anymore I will shout to the mountains to carry my words in their echoes Streams will flood with my tears as they move with my pain The breeze shall cease if only to listen to drift my words further And if nobody hears me Let the land dry and be plagued Let the rivers, the clear waters of my land, muddy Wax the ears of those who turn a deaf to my cries Because like he, they have murdered my spirit Mutilated my youth and dreams my mother raised me to have But my laments will not be in vain My howls will not go unheard Because I will keep retelling my story over and over As many times as you've touched me Until someone listens and believes Until someone hears and acts I will not be silent... By Moliehi Molupe (c) 2020