I Wasn'T Mentally Ill I Was Manipulated
A people person made to not like people
I've known the worst ones, spiteful, evil,
I gave sympathy
they pointed out the wimp in me
I gave time
they mocked and undermine
I showed compassion
and offered protection
no such fashion
came my direction
When I was weak
they labelled me needy
suffered, didn't speak
my spirit was bleeding
my reality refused
but my pain was present
with everyone confused
I drained of presence
hiding in isolation
my brain tied in knots
finding complication
but why? I'd forgot
slid a slide to suicide
because part of me had died
put life in the throw of the dice
saved by chance, kept me alive
so i quit the drink and drugs
still my brain not lined with sight
silent shoulder shrugs
manipulated, days are nights
then i expressed in poetry
emotions started flowing free
and suddenly it's showing me
unholy repressed memories
the memories and puzzle fit
the confusion bubble missing bits
friends act like enemies taking hits
above all their still doing it
refusing my reality
to the point where lives insanity
they changed my personality
and their lies still damage me
to all a mystery why i changed
too many drugs one night mates claimed
my brain was hindered far from range
acting crazed this theory remained
but the truth is they ignored my problem
and by doing so caused a new problem
the third point is they hid both problems
and theorised on what was my problem
more people believed what was told
misdirected perspective contamination
and for years and years down hill I rolled
never resolved, treated with discrimination
my reality unknown
a false reality created
truth never shown
suffered isolated
behaved alike a mad man
because all of this happened
remembering now as I can
leaving me more flattened
knowing all this for the very first time
knowing I was manipulated out of my mind
yet having enough to understand why,
brings power to get out and up I climb
though i realise 13 years on
when all i had then has completely gone
with all unaware of the wrong
I stand tall, broad, and I stand strong
Copyright © Nick Trim | Year Posted 2020
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