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I Wasn't Mentally Ill I Was Manipulated

A people person made to not like people I've known the worst ones, spiteful, evil, I gave sympathy they pointed out the wimp in me I gave time they mocked and undermine I showed compassion and offered protection no such fashion came my direction When I was weak they labelled me needy suffered, didn't speak my spirit was bleeding my reality refused but my pain was present with everyone confused I drained of presence hiding in isolation my brain tied in knots finding complication but why? I'd forgot slid a slide to suicide because part of me had died put life in the throw of the dice saved by chance, kept me alive so i quit the drink and drugs still my brain not lined with sight silent shoulder shrugs manipulated, days are nights then i expressed in poetry emotions started flowing free and suddenly it's showing me unholy repressed memories the memories and puzzle fit the confusion bubble missing bits friends act like enemies taking hits above all their still doing it refusing my reality to the point where lives insanity they changed my personality and their lies still damage me to all a mystery why i changed too many drugs one night mates claimed my brain was hindered far from range acting crazed this theory remained but the truth is they ignored my problem and by doing so caused a new problem the third point is they hid both problems and theorised on what was my problem more people believed what was told misdirected perspective contamination and for years and years down hill I rolled never resolved, treated with discrimination my reality unknown a false reality created truth never shown suffered isolated behaved alike a mad man because all of this happened remembering now as I can leaving me more flattened knowing all this for the very first time knowing I was manipulated out of my mind yet having enough to understand why, brings power to get out and up I climb though i realise 13 years on when all i had then has completely gone with all unaware of the wrong I stand tall, broad, and I stand strong

Copyright © | Year Posted 2020

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Date: 11/10/2020 1:11:00 AM
Beautiful poem Nick... I relate.. Hugs Sophia
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Nick Trim
Date: 11/12/2020 6:41:00 AM
thanks Caramael :)