I Want To Be Happy...

So much confusion so much pain and numerous lies, And where are they?, they’re hiding behind my disguise. I am truly scared of this life crashing down around me, Everything good, fails, and its my fault can’t you see? I hide behind the walls of my mouth, my defense, I’m so confused and well I don’t think this all makes sense. Why are we here to just struggle then, eventually die, It all seems like torture to me, so I constantly am asking why? Is this some sort of sick game someone is trying to play, Like why am I stuck in this situation day to day? It just isn’t making any sense to me what’s so ever, I might eventually succeed, but guess what, it won’t last forever. We all have to die, so why even try, it just seems so dumb, Why am I living in so much pain, please just make me numb. What I mean is don’t make me continue to try so hard, I am not happy, in this life as it is, so let me make my own life card. For now on, I’m going to do me, and decide my own fate, I’m not doing what is thrown at me, cause success can just wait! No, never mind, my success is going be me happy, Cause that’s what I want is to be happy, now can’t you see?