Tom Bell Poet Bio

I. U. D.

Another tom tale of madness, and a true story.

I have some health issues,
One is Ventricular Fibrillation,
A life threatening heart condition,
But, if truth be told,
An even more serious rendition
Is Advanced Stupidity,
I'm master of fools,
My supposedly high IQ
The most useless of tools,

I have an implant in my heart
To keep me alive,
You'd think such a thing,
I'd know like my wife

But stupidity is strong,
As a trait can surely be,
And I am an example,
For all others to see

Last time to the hospital,
I trip I know all too well,
They asked me at once,
What's up Mr. Bell?

I kind of get confused,
With all the acronyms
Involved,
So I told them that I
Had not quite resolved

I had an I.U. D., I said
Thinking this was quite right,
And was quite surprised,
At the instant sight

Everyone smiled,
Or laughed out loud,
Seemed I was missing
The humor in this crowd...

It was not a heart implant
But I guess you already know
Goes to show you,
What a big shmoe...

They all had a laugh,
At my expense,
I hadn't a clue,
It didn't make sense....

Till someone did clue me,
What I had said,
I covered my head with sheets,
And wished I was dead!

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