I Try To Fathom the Why

if I had all the money that I ever wanted, I suppose that I could travel the world; live in a better home, buy better clothes, if money was no object, but you see money cannot help me, each day my health is more delicate, slipping further away; and all the money in the universe will not change a thing, this is my struggle and my daily reality . . . the things I give myself are simple, relaxing music to soothe this weary soul; peace, tranquility and love to ease my pain, and I ask the Lord for acceptance . . . in meditation I try to fathom the why, of course, with money I could go to a fancy retreat; but a corner in my bedroom is set aside for meditation and relaxing, and it is there I have placed peaceful things that cost very little . . . . perhaps with money I could get better drugs, but no drug is going to change this girl's destiny; this I know deep in my heart and soul, I have for a long, long time. I think a lot about my past and life so far, the paths I took or did not take, the things I said or did not; could money have changed my journey in any way . . . a warm bath, a cozy bed, a sweet purring cat, paper and pen so I can write, my laptop within reach, a walk in nature listening to the birds; a loved one to hold my hand . . . . these are my indulgences and they may not seem like much to you, but I feel like the wealthiest person in this world; for money cannot buy happiness nor can it buy life, all I need is the indulgence of tranquility; and that comes from within . . . ____________________________ January 28, 2015 (Edit) Poetry/Free Verse/and that comes from within Copyright Protected, ID 15-1108-615-0 All Rights Reserved. Written under Pseudonym. Submitted to the 2019 Marathon, Mile 13 sponsor, Mark Toney Second Place