I TRUSTED YOU

In my bed, I hear the floor creek Closer and closer toward my bedroom door, I try to stay quiet hiding under the covers Though I know he will find me. I hope he doesn't hear my heartbeat Or hear me praying "God will protect me tonight." But as I do, I start to cry because I know TONIGHT IS ONE OF THOSE NIGHTS WHEN GOD JUST DOESN'T HEAR ME. I let out one more sob And the door sways open, The hallway light shines in But darkness radiates off him. So strong, He has a smile on his face; Bet, nothing will stop him And I can't even defend myself. He gets on top of me holding me down And as I try to turn away, He pulls me back covering my mouth I'm scared to breathe. A few weeks pass by, I hear him moaning my name While stumbling around the house Closer and closer he's walking toward me. Now he's on my bed And before he even touches me I begin to cry as I wonder Where is God tonight? This time I fight back I yell, I cry But he has ways to shut me up. I do everything I can to loosen his grip. He's hurting me so bad but will not let me go; NO He will not let me go Not until he had finished. He leaves me lying there To think of what I have lost “ I'm sorry " is not enough He doesn't even realize what it has cost. Another few weeks pass by The shame keeps getting worse Too afraid to tell Though it's so hard to hide this pain Day after day. I must have been bad that night I hear him coming closer as I'm lying on the floor Lord, I would do anything If you keep him from walking through that door. But he does, I finally realize I am all alone; No one to protect me No one who can save me. So I lie back down to take it But he throws me on the bed And makes me relive my worst fears When I just want to be dead. I don't want to kill myself I just want to die. God, why have you abandoned me? Can you not see the tears I cry?