Marcolorenzo Ruggenti Poet Free verse

I TOUCHED DEATH

I searched for Death
In the realm of Hell
And I found her one afternoon
In the wetness of Roman shade
Under the troubled pines on the hill
Where the sun never shines
Outside of God’s remit and will
In the mud and filth
Of an aging nether world pit.

When she left
I had been robbed of grace
God had left me in an instant
Fleeing my soul at a furious pace
I had chosen this?
What could I do?
It was in the past
I could not go back
I could not return to rethink things
I had done it
Time could not be reversed.

With every prayer and genuflexion 
To push the clock hands back
Time refused to move to my will
Time rarely goes backward
With every prayer to undo
God’s justice immovable stood
I had touched the trunk of death
Now I rolled in its rotting fruits

I had to pull this tree out by the roots
I had to start a new planting
In a closed circle of sunshine
The whole garden had to be re-dug
In a new position with a new disposition
The digging brought me face to face
Not with God but with my lusts
Like a figure on an Indian Temple
A façade reminding me of my dharma
I saw the choices
And I chose God


A new garden gave birth to me
Each morning among the carnations
And cyclamens I was reborn in prayer
My sin was carried away in the wind
Along with dead repentance filled leaves
And from every hope filled sunrise to fasting sunset
I was made more whole than before
Ready to re-meet the demons from my core
Inside their creaking cage at night in sleep
Only to return again in the day to follow
To the garden, to me, and to a lasting peace.

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