Caren Krutsinger Poet Lyric

I Thought I Had Gotten Away From This

I thought I had gotten away from this part of my childhood,
but I turned at lettuce and ran into my cousin Linden
in the grocery store last Thursday.
He was delighted and dragged me back to their house 
to observe more of their childish games.

Unlike in the movies where they pop a gunny sack over your head 
and capture you, 
Linden enticed me in a different whole-hearted way that made me
want to be dragged back into their drama.   
With methodical guilt that appealed to 
my niceness, and the reminder we are “blood” after all, 
my notoriously personable
first cousin coaxed me back into his brother Tweedle-Man’s troubled waters.

I sat mesmerized, watching them do all the stuff they used to do, 
when we were kids, only harder and meaner.
This used to be my circus, but I had long ago given up the three rings.
They are going on sixty, acting twenty-two, proud of their inflexibility, 
and retention of youth.
I admire their eagerness to never change things 
that have never in any way worked for them.
They valiantly hang on to a selfish life that has 
never created a fulfillment for either of them, and has helped no one.

I resign myself to the socialized fact 
That for a few more hours I will sit here,
pretending politeness.  I do not exchange phone numbers or tell
them where I am living or with whom. 
They do not care. It is all about them.
The ringmaster and the clown.  

It would be an inconvenience for them to reach out again.
They are too inebriated and too high in other ways to find me again 
Or even remember who I am or that I still exist. 

I sit patiently a few more minutes.
Waiting for them to bring on the dancing bears.
Tweedle-man is wearing oversized glasses that light up. “Funny huh?”
Linden falls off the couch, laughing maniacally.  
Just a few more minutes…



Written 3-17-2019
Contest:  Bring on the Dancing Bears       
Sponsor: John Lawless

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Jan Allison April 29, 2019 at 4:45 PM what awesome imagery and vivid description ...this makes my family seem relatively sane Caren lol:-) hugs jan xx Caren Krutsinger April 29, 2019 at 11:02 PM "relatively sane" is not the same as sane, Jan.You realize this, of course.

Kurt Ravidas April 28, 2019 at 1:11 PM As a child, I liked clowns and trained animals. Now they disgust me. Great tough poem. Caren Krutsinger April 28, 2019 at 4:15 PM I clearly know my relatives in all sorts of ways, and am ready to throw them into the fray and use them as fodder at a second's notice, Kurt. For they usually deserve it.

P.S. Awtry April 27, 2019 at 7:53 PM Congratulations! I felt like I was right there on the couch with you watching the madness! Caren Krutsinger April 28, 2019 at 1:15 AM P.S., you could be. We all have them. They are all over and in and out our families.

Beata Agustin April 27, 2019 at 9:10 AM Wow! What a way to delight the bored... Congrats! God bless you. Caren Krutsinger April 27, 2019 at 12:21 PM Thank you Beata. I had so much fun with this!

John Lawless April 26, 2019 at 6:31 PM OH GOD, Caren, the inevitable insanity of the family circus..some remain clowns....others become ringmasters....and the circus goes on...thanks for entering the contest. Caren Krutsinger April 27, 2019 at 2:31 AM You are ever so welcome, John, and thank you for having the contest, for it gave me the entire idea quickly and completely, and I love contests that make me THINK like this one!