I Think We Need Another War Today

There’s people losing confidence In diplomats and presidents, You can’t believe a single thing they say. I’ve got the proven remedy To give this country unity: I think we need another war today, I think we need another war today, Let’s find some lucky country far away, And let’s send some advisers in (And find out later we can’t win), I think we need another war today. Let’s open up that Navy Yard, And get those fact’ries working hard, Let’s give ourselves a little raise in pay. Let’s spread some blood on foreign soil, And save the Rockefeller’s oil, I think we need another war today. I think we need another war today, Let’s find some lucky country far away, And let’s send Billy Carter in (And notify his next of kin), I think we need another war today. Let’s infiltrate the Left and Right And find out who’s afraid to fight, And toss them in a dungeon, damp and grey, Let’s draft the unemployables, Those poor folk make expendables, I think we need another war today. I think we need another war today, Let’s nominate some country far away, Let’s send Anita Bryant in To entertain our fighting men, I think we need another war today. (…keep the choruses going ad infinitum with the third line different each time, such as: Let’s send Kissinger instead Of you and me, to face that lead… Let’s send Lieutenant Calley in, I’ll bet he’ll know where to begin… Let’s send Teddy Kennedy. (He sure could use publicity)… Let’s send William Colby in, To torture women and old men…