I Talked To Mom Last Night
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"(I carry you with me) where I go you go."
Quote - E.E. Cummings
when mom passed away I was broken, shattered
as she was the most important person in my life
we shared an incredible bond
I lost my best friend, my mom, my anchor and rock
and have been floating and drifting since
and the clock of time has rolled
but as I dreamt of us last night mom came to me
as a vision mystical and spiritual
weeping, I whispered
I have things to tell you mom small and big things
mom, firstly you are a great-grandma
as God has sent us a baby girl
oh, this angel has brought our family so much joy
but, I am haunted mom . . .
I am so sorry I was not the perfect daughter
that our journey was sometimes rocky
in my early years I was always running away
not realizing the love I sought
I had already . . .
your door was always open
you always kept my room ready (lol)
but the years mellowed me
and I planted my roots
I took care of you as your health failed
until your death
and some days my irritation showed up
I am so sorry . . . but I was alone in your illness
and afraid of the end and unsure
I am haunted by what I said, what I should have said
and what I should have done, can you forgive me, please
still, your last words in this life were "I love you"
what I gift I was given . . .
I should have brought you home to die, I didn't
you made me promise to always have a garden
as gardening was your lifetime joy
and I do mom - a beautiful garden in honor of you
I kept your cat mom and she lived into old age
and died a peaceful death in my arms
I cried for days, it was like losing you all over again
she seemed to be my last link to you
perhaps, she is with you in heaven's garden, I hope so
and magically my mom was holding me in her arms
she kissed me and stroked my hair
just like she used to once upon a time
then, she was gone . . .
______________________
September 20, 2022
Poetry/Free Verse/I Talked To Mom Last Night
Copyright Protected, ID 09-1489-329-20
All Rights Reserved, 2022, Constance La France
Written for the Standard contest, The Mystical Dream
sponsor, Anoucheka Gangabisson, Judged 10/22/2022
First Place
Copyright © Constance La France | Year Posted 2022
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