I Sit Here Alone

I sit here alone in my house today it use to be rush here rush there in all kind of different ways. My love for my mother who I took care of and loved liked no other. I wrote poetry at this time I could not find my self Life to me seemed unfair because my mama some days could not even comb her hair I sit here alone it has been not yet a year in this house we brought in others help like nurses aids and doctors and family so in hopes I would relax because I felt like I was failing my self. I sit here a lone in this house I now feel better about my self even though with out my mom in parts of my life it feels like gone is my favorite song. I miss mom so much she had that special motherly touch. I sit here alone now all day I do not hear my mom yelling out my name out. or if trying to remember If I gave her meds this out time. And nights if mom would wake up alive , because her life now had a time line. For me and her some days our eyes seem like we had gone stone blind. I sit here alone now in this house much quieter much calmer much grief as I sit and only hear a drip from the kitchen sink. what do I do next? My feelings feel mixed because. I sit here alone in this house and praying to God with this feelings of being alone because it was not me but my mom who lived her life very strong. that make me smile, because now that she gone mom raised me up right even though now she not in my sight.