I need

I need a second to breathe. In the mirror, I trace the lines The weight of my body seeping out the confines Nineteen summers yet shadows remain I wish and I hope but my thoughts are tangled in pain I need a minute to think. I scroll through the pictures, everyone’s smiles so bright Flawless skin glowing in soft, golden light But here I am, a girl with a heart that is heavy Wondering when it’s my turn, aren’t I ready? I need an hour to process. My tears stain my face in the dark of my room Regretting even leaving my own mothers womb The room is stuffy, my throat feels tight I don’t know what I might do with this knife I need a day to myself. Do people truly like me now? Is there anyone who would want me around? Even for a day I wish god would allow A place where I can feel safe and sound I need a week to cry. Though my tears have long since dried I wish there was someone in which I could confide I still feel alone and without love It seems that being ugly is something I’m not above I need a month to recharge. I find myself too tired and weary The future always seems so dreary To truly tackle all of this hardship I must consider the strength of my grip I need a year to heal. I’ve never gone without the pain Peace comes across as unfamiliar It is now my turn to gain Time for happiness to become familiar