Ashlea Senft Poet I do not know?

I Met Myself and Turned Away, Refusing To Believe

i hit my brother’s dab pen and got high so i could play guitar better
instead i saw jesus’s face in wood paneling
like what a god might see before he dies, immortally of course
   if i didn’t have ADD i’d probably do outrageous  like my homework or keeping a
     conversation or something and maybe i’d actually finally breathe so i could do
        stuff like everyone (else) just to lose my breath again
           but for now i’ll continue bowing down to worship my own personal god
            then turn around to pop more pills hoping he’ll go away
i wake up every morning, quickly kill myself, brush my teeth, then go off to work and get in a car accident and lose my car and laugh
rusty blood, the color of the dream i had
maybe i’ll meet jimi hendrix in heaven and i could wear his headband
maybe i’ll look down and notice myself waving in the mirror this time
 make sure there’s one in my coffin, thanks
  i forgot my pizza rolls in the microwave

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