I Made It This Way

As time passes So do all the new things you learn Unable to watch you grow Hurts more than I can handle Pain so deep Hidden within Fighting its way to the surface Wanting to explode My heart never as whole As it did the day I held you in my arms Looking back at me Your innocent eyes So precious ~ So pure Perfect little baby My perfect baby boy How can you forgive me Letting you go My son Never know how much mommy loves you Replays in my mind over and over again Why you’re gone Reality of it all Mommy let you go Gave up on what I was born to do… Have Love and protect you All the wonderful things mommy was supposed to do HATE ME Kills me inside Leaves me numb Realize ~ I didn’t choose you When all you needed was me FAILED I failed at what God blessed me with Baby boy Sorry I miss you everyday Want to lie down Just die Cold Dark Alone inside I made it this way My baby Not you….