I Like Muslims
I like Muslims,
Particularly Yemenis
And Pakistanis (in Yemen)—
With whom, as a university don,
I happened to live for six years.
Arabic vowels render
A Yemeni voice gruff.
So even a greeting would probably
Sound rude to you.
The people are all, like the cat,
Naturally suspicious, cautious,
Until you pass the test (of time).
Then, you are their bosom friend.
If you find a strange parcel in your parlor,
After your Yemeni visitor has left,
Don’t panic: it’s a gift for you.
Beware: If you casually say,
“Your pen is cute,”
Instantly it is yours as a gift!
Talking of meat-eating,
A Yemeni once said:
“We eat what we can
And the animals eat what we can’t!”
At the Rector’s desk,
You may find someone seated,
Picking his tooth.
No, it’s not the Rector, only his messenger;
The Rector might barge in just then
And find a seat somewhere—
Universal brotherhood!
A student (male) would
Shake your hands vigorously,
Go further and pat you on the back!
No offence meant.
Proxemics!
Once a student sat in on my class.
And at the end wanted to
Reward me for my lecture.
All that he could find at the moment
Was a tissue, which he offered in all humility,
He said: I should pay for what I’ve learnt.
I cherish the reward!
If they repeatedly try to proselytize you,
It is in your own interests,
So that you will go to Heaven,
Which you would otherwise miss!
Once a Yemeni colleague of mine
Put it to me quite seriously:
“Just say a word, Professor,
And you become a Muslim instantly;
Are free to marry into my family;
May take my sister’s hand.”
“But I’m married,” flustered I.
“So what?” was his cool response!
Your students may bring for you
Home-made dishes,
Without your knowledge or consent.
Wallah, you shall have it!
Once a student presented to me
A pencil-sketch, by her, of me
With a nota bene:
2B or not 2B?
“I am your old student,
Teacher, not that old!
You learnt (sic) me Shakespeare.”
She only means:
You taught me Shakespeare.
Taelim is the Arabic word for
Both ‘teach’ and ‘learn.’
Today there is chaos in the land.
Al-?amdu lillah
A word on our Pakistani brethren in Yemen.
Outside their own soil,
Both Indians and Pakistanis
Would be thick as thieves:
Play friendly cricket matches
And you’d invariably find
An Indian bowler or batsman on the Pakistani team
And vice versa—to make up for a shortfall!
So, I like Muslims.
— Ram, R. V.
Winner, Premiere Poetry Contest, sponsored by Kai Michael Newmann, July 30, 2017
Copyright © Ram R. V. | Year Posted 2017
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