I Killed Myself
What a beautiful day !
Said me as I woke up feeling so tiny
Under the enormous sky above me,
And the incessant greenery
That hugged me from beneath
Oh ! How gorgeous it felt !!
Though a bit confused to find
Not a single soul around,
Yet a hundred and one times
Lighter I was than yesterday .
Oh ! How patiently had I waited for this !
Tell me, oh God !
Where is my heart pain gone ?
Why do my feet not feel the tenderness of the grass ?
Why do my arms move with the slightest wind ?
Why do I not remember where I woke up to ?
Tell me , oh God !
Where do I go now ?
I walked and walked
Expressionless and empty
Feeling so vacant from inside
Dad would have lifted me up
Mom would have caressed me
Oh ! How badly do I miss them
Broken and worthless ,
I slept again and woke up
In my house this time
I saw my parents
I had been dreaming
Was I happy ? No
Was I sad ? No
Why ?
I saw MYSELF in my room
Sleeping as if I would never wake up
My face looked pale
My limbs were numb
I touched myself and detected somehow
My body necessitated me !
So why did it shove me away when I attempted to throw in ?
I realised I could never get in
I realised I could never wake up
I realised I could never live
I realised I was dead
I killed myself
And I tried to unkill myself !
Copyright © Shreya Adhikari | Year Posted 2021
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