I Have No Bucket List

I Have No Bucket List! No hopes, No dreams, Nothing I want to do? Life has shown me many things and taken me many places. Some have touched my heart so deeply that nothing can ever erase these memories from me. I have been blessed at times and cursed at others. I have often wondered at my life and my choices. The path I choose for one reason or another would have me wonder of my sanity more times than not. I have spent many years crying in silent, desperate to be happy. I only wanted one thing in life and that was to be truly loved by someone; anyone just please love me! I have had moments that gave me a glimmer of hope to have it snatched away from me. I have felt so special and beautiful just to be crushed and left wondering what happened, what is wrong with me? The moments of pure joy that has touched my heart has left a print so precious that I could carry on. I just knew that somehow love was out there and it would recognize me too! What is a place but some where you go. What is a dream but another place and time? What are these things without any hope? I do not know what hope feels like anymore or dreams or even desire for life. My bucket is empty except for the day to day things that carry me forward. My face smiles, my lips say that would be a dream come true, my heart always wants to give love and I make it through yet another day. Debbie Knapp