I Have Known Pain

I have known pain. How to hide it as I live with it Stuffed down The muffled sound Of objections to be silenced It's latent trait subject to violence I wait for grey skies And hope that it will rain So that my tears blend in unseen The unacquitted tears From yester-years A smokescreen I struggle to see past the haze It’s extreme. I listen to music on the radio My voice echoes to the tune Melancholy melodies That wrap like a cocoon Distant and sad songs I sing along Side by side the words That reflects my pain for so long. Just like my childhood and my home The silence of my phone Strangely comforts me. Familiar emptiness Words I can’t express Memories repressed I sat there numbly. Skillfully mincing Words I don't feel Meant to conceal While voices in my head Breath threats of exposure - Relentlessly. Where is the door to closure I desperately need? My pain and laughter blend I wear a smile I pretend And no one is the wiser. Pain settles like a geyser Waiting to explode As I fight the urge to give in and implode. I runaway I try to hide I don't know where to run to. I long for grey skies That speak of rain Inviting pain Like lover's That cry in ecstasy I give myself completely So that my tears remain unseen.