Mona Ebel Poet Free verse

I Have Known Pain

I have known pain.
How to hide it as I live with it
Stuffed down
The muffled sound
Of objections to be silenced
It's latent trait subject to violence

I wait for grey skies
And hope that it will rain
So that my tears blend in unseen
The unacquitted tears
From yester-years
A smokescreen
I struggle to see past the haze
It’s extreme.

I listen to music on the radio
My voice echoes to the tune
Melancholy melodies
That wrap like a cocoon
Distant and sad songs
I sing along
Side by side the words
That reflects my pain for so long.

Just like my childhood and my home
The silence of my phone
Strangely comforts me.
Familiar emptiness
Words I can’t express
Memories repressed
I sat there numbly.

Skillfully mincing
Words I don't feel
Meant to conceal
While voices in my head
Breath threats of exposure
- Relentlessly.
Where is the door to closure
I desperately need?

My pain and laughter blend
I wear a smile
I pretend
And no one is the wiser.
Pain settles like a geyser
Waiting to explode
As I fight the urge to give in and implode.
I runaway I try to hide
I don't know where to run to.

I long for grey skies
That speak of rain
Inviting pain
Like lover's
That cry in ecstasy
I give myself completely
So that my tears remain unseen.

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Danka Sikorska October 3, 2023 at 1:27 AM I like your poem and your style/vibe. I am no expert, but if I were to give you a word of advise- I know that many times emotions just burst out of us and keep pouring out, sometimes so fast we can't keep up with writing it all down, but it is an interesting exercise (if I can call it that way) to try to express them with much less words. Some things are more powerful when "hidden" between the lines :) Not everything has to be said, let the reader think and wonder :) Danka Sikorska October 16, 2023 at 3:45 AM Mona, I absolutely understand as it took me years before I was able to "trim" my thoughts. As everything in our life, it is a process that takes time. Sometimes every word is valid and needs to be written down, sometimes not, but to find it out, we need to write and write and look back to check and see ourselves :) All the best for you! Mona Ebel October 15, 2023 at 8:11 AM I had thought I responded to your feedback on this one. I thank you for your advice. I received your wisdom and experience whole heartedly. I find it to be a challenge, as I tend to wear my feelings on my sleeve, but it is an area that I would like to temper more. I welcome more feedback moving forward.

Beata Agustin September 27, 2023 at 7:35 AM Thanks for sharing this... exposing your thoughts through your unique poetic style. Welcome to Poetry Soup. I welcome you with the love of the Lord, expressed by John 3:16 of the Bible, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." Be blessed. Mona Ebel September 27, 2023 at 8:12 AM Good morning. Thank you for your comment. You are my first comment. And you love the Lord. That encourages my heart. I hope you have a lovely day in Christ Jesus. In Him we live and move and have our being. Amen. Be blessed