Lin Lane Poet Rhyme

I Had a Martini: Ok, Maybe Four

It'd been one of the most bizarre days; downright crazy
so I had a martini, maybe four, so things got kinda hazy
I fumbled in my wallet so I could pay my pricey bar tab
Friends thought I had too many, so they put me in a cab

I stumbled up the steps. It seems walking was a chore
Couldn't find my key, so I tried beating down the door
Her screeches of "Where the bloody hell have ya been?"
Pounded in my head, making me sorry that I'd come in.

She hissed, then off to the kitchen she foolishly prattled
With horrendous noises, pots and pans were being rattled
My head was sorely throbbing so I begged her to be quiet
She screamed, "Don't yell at me! Blame your liquid diet!"

She banged a bowl of something down on the table cloth.
I weaved my way to a chair as my mouth began to froth
Put my head in my hands when the room started spinning
Caught a glimpse of that evil woman. Yeah, she was grinning

A mound of muck she'd plunked down right in front of me
looked like it should still be swimming in the salty sea
It smelled vile and disgusting... nauseatingly atrocious
I gagged and turned away, that's when Liz became ferocious

I couldn't move an inch to find my way back to the couch
I was a brick, held by mortar. My wife was being a grouch
but I couldn't find the strength to flee.  I felt far too dizzy
My turn to shout, "Can you just stop your naggin', Lizzie?"

I didn't mean to say it, and my words came out so slurred
My vision was fuzzy. Everything was clouded and blurred
Something was staring up at me while awful music played
That's when I saw green heads and grew appallingly afraid 

Whether fantasy or reality, frogs had escaped from a pond
These were fugly creatures. From evil they'd been spawned
I was being serenaded by a quartet of deep croaking voices
So suffers the drunken man while his heartless wife rejoices

I crawled to bed when I couldn't take the harmony any more
Lizzie punched me and said, "Wake up if you're gonna snore."
I tripped down the stairs, woke the dog and made him bark
Left the wife and found a bench to sleep it off in the park

♡Like0

Share Poem

---

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Winged Warrior November 8, 2018 at 7:15 PM Martini madness...I'm sure some of us can relate, including me...but those days are over~'hiccup' lol...lovely write Laney...love & light...^WW^ Lin Lane November 9, 2018 at 11:32 AM I don't touch the stuff, but I am touched by your thoughts. Thank you.

Robert Lindley November 5, 2018 at 2:23 PM Your very creative and wonderfully delightful yarn, brings back memories of my youth, when a few times I came home a bit to the weather myself. Lucky for me I was then alone and had only my own sad groans to contend with. This is truly a great poem to read and have a good chuckle over my very talented friend' A fav... Lin Lane November 5, 2018 at 4:49 PM Thank you most sincerely for liking this one, Robert. I'm not at all sure how it got started, but I had to leave the keyboard or I could've gone on for quite a while longer. ;-)

Faraz Ajmal November 5, 2018 at 1:28 PM I absolutely loved reading it, such an amazing write this is, the moment I read the topic and the fact that it was written by you, I knew that it was certainly going to be a masterpiece and I am glad that I come across this poem, certainly a fav for me, good luck and have a really nice day Lin Lane November 5, 2018 at 4:48 PM I thank you very much for the kind comments and the fav.

Jan Allison November 4, 2018 at 3:46 PM Very witty lin but also a sad scenario ... and it's hit home hard as it's a little close for comfort with a friends wife was picked up by the cops recently for being inebriated in the street:-( hugs Jan xx Lin Lane November 4, 2018 at 4:04 PM I'm so sorry your friend has had to deal with such a painful situation, Jan.

Tom Cunningham November 4, 2018 at 9:16 AM Loved your humour Lin, sounds like one hell of a good night, a night we've all experienced in our lives and vows of never again until the next time. Very well written Lin. Tom. Lin Lane November 4, 2018 at 10:29 AM It might've been a good night until he got home and Lizzie gave him 'what for." Imagine being serenaded by frogs! Thanks for appreciating my silly side, Tom.