I Gave Myself the Bird

I wanted a turkey, to my mom's delight. But it was soon to become, my worst plight. She said: you carve the bird, It's your turn, this year. And that, just happened to be, my worst fear.   I took the knife, and grabbed on-to it's leg. But the darn thing popped off, before I could beg... Mom, "Are you sure..." "Shut-up and cut", she said, with regret. As I cut thru the pan, the juices were let...   Now I have a mess on the floor, It's sticky, and runny, but the dog wants some more.   The knife went clean though, the aluminum pan. It was the ginsu knife, that I got from Stan. The bird steamed up my glasses, so I couldn't see. I took them off, and they dropped on the cavity. Now, the bird, has such a funny look... That we took a picture of it, for our book. Gramma said: "It looks like Uncle Phil." So, I had to sit down, and I took a pill.   Uncle Phil is bald, and has a funny nose. Just like the turkey, but that's not it's nose! Then we heard the knock at the door. It was Uncle Phil. So I hit the floor.