I don't want to title this
I don’t miss you
I miss letting go of myself
While someone else holds
What I can’t lift
I miss how connecting fingers
felt like dotting constellations
I miss the whispers of intimacy
That only spoke in silence
Silenced my heart because my mind got too loud
Your passive aggressive too proud
Go ahead and take a bow
My sorries always throw flowers to the actor
And I'm tired of being a side character
for your trauma
I'm not saying I'm a bed of roses either
But I'm trying to keep my pocket full of posies
I've talked to death more than I ever wanted to
So this time I choose you, yes the man
That didn't know lessons would hurt this bad
That boy whose teaching himself
Dreams feel impossible before they float
I don't want to float down here
The boy in me is sad but not defeated
The man has learned to plant
Everyone has their season so make sure you check the weather
Whether you reap or sow be watchful
I was broken but I refuse to stay cracked
In
Packed walls that don’t exist
I miss
Me
The part that I let go of
It’s hard to get a hold of
Him
Neglect collects just the same
And with interest when you feed it love
If working twice as hard means I can kiss hope
Then I’ll gladly die for growth
Prune the parts of me that don't listen to the sun
I miss
The man who was still becoming
I need to sit him back on the window seal
So he knows window pain doesn't
Always hurt
Perspective jerk
Seasoning my life to match the
Flavor of my personality
Gratitude comes gradually
So stop moving out of season
Pause and Breathe
Before the moment leaves
This is me perfectly imperfect
Leaning on God for my peace
p.s. this is my release…
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