I Don'T Know What I'M Writing For

I don't know what I'm writing for,
didn't start to find the cure
or rewind the cord
to find a vision true and pure
started to express distress
regarded as a mental mess
a brief relief and gentle ease
unheard words found release
polluted air surrounding ceased
clues poured spare with each piece
and every layer had an underneath
each more gruelling full of grief
an Autumn Fall turning every leaf
finding fitted Lego bricks but no design
a puzzle with no box
random pieces hard to slot
gritty echoes from sickening times
pulled from the rubble stock of my decline
separate scenes on one timeline
separated by my own mind
people, places, a point in time,
spaced through thought naive and blind,
this string of knots is one combined
not many which have got intertwined
each scenario more crazy
unlikely yet more maybe
cuz answers without knowledge
grew confusion ever solid, dipstick
gas clouds so thick in places liquid
fused and never flowing
just floating never knowing
expelling as I wrote,
clearing horror shows,
which emotionally and mentally stoked
could have turned, forget and go,
but in agony the ink flowed,
as though my pen morphed the gas
covering up my past, until at last
the understanding is grasped
understood and let it pass,
but the years are empty,
I've vented free,
so i guess now i write reinventing me,
and who knows maybe eventually
pressing on, willing, adventurously
I began because you didn't listen to me
Copyright © | Year Posted 2020

Poem

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Ashley Avatar
June 1, 2021 at 7:53 PM
Nick, your thoughts bristle with awesome free-flowing emotional imagery and textured phrases like; "every layer had an underneath" and "this string of knots is one combined" - and so many more. I enjoyed the soul-purging journey and the amazing destination - such a great last line! Congratulations for your excellent win in Juliet's contest. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Ligon Avatar
May 23, 2021 at 6:21 PM
Congratulations, Nick! This reads like a rap battle to me, flows smoothly.
Neumann Avatar
January 2, 2021 at 2:47 AM
Congratulations and thank you for entering my contest. Kind wishes, Kai
Trim Avatar
January 2, 2021 at 12:54 PM
Thank you for the placement I'm well chuffed :)
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