I Don'T Know

I don’t know what to do and I don’t know where to go I try so very hard each day not to let my feelings show But how long can one pretend that you’re really on the mend? Why has my life turned out like this, why is it all so sad? Is it a remainder of the things I never had? I tried to be so kind and good but all I have is pain Will I ever be truly happy – I cannot say again I am so very lucky compared to other folk, My problems are really not so great, so why the heavy yolk? I’ll just keep trudging on then and hope I see the light No one can ever say of me “she gave up without a fight” But I’m oh so tired of trying, I’m weary and forlorn A mother’s love I never had – is that why I’m so torn? As a child when I was hurting there was no one to see or tell I just had to put up and shut up - couldn’t they see I was hurting like hell The bad things that were done to me, the cruel, sadistic things I never said a word and if I had – who would have heard? I’m not sorry for myself, just sad and angry too But you know me – I’ll always say “fine” And let a smile show though