I Don'T Have a Drinking Problem

I don’t have a drinking problem I drink til I get drunk Then I stumble home Where I live all alone And I diddle my own junk. I don’t have a drinking problem The problem is you see When I am sober I look the world over And the world has a problem with me. So I go to the neighborhood bar Start with a whiskey and beer chaser Every one of them that I belt down Acts like a problem eraser. All my troubles disappear Then I fall off of the stool I don’t see What the problem can be So, what’s the matter with you? I don’t have a drinking problem I drink til I get drunk Then I stumble home Where I live all alone And I diddle my own junk. I don’t have a drinking problem The problem is you see When I am sober I look the world over And the world has a problem with me. So I go to the neighborhood bar And put down a pint or ten Soon all the old biddies there Start looking beautiful again I start flirting with the ladies Must of’m older than me Mum Then I pinch all the lasses Upon their big asses And get tossed out on me bum. I don’t have a drinking problem I drink til I get drunk Then I stumble home Where I live all alone And I diddle my own junk. I don’t have a drinking problem The problem is you see When I am sober I look the world over And the world has a problem with me. So, I go to the neighborhood bar Where I drink all day and night My beer muscles start growing stronger And I go looking for a fight My slurred words start the trouble My pushing eggs it on some more I get punched in the eye And in my reply My face hits on the floor I don’t have a drinking problem I drink til I get drunk Then I stumble home Where I live all alone And I diddle my own junk. I don’t have a drinking problem The problem is you see When I am sober I look the world over And the world has a problem with me.