I Do Need You So Lord Why
Arms extended, tears drowning my eyes, I fall to my knees
I do need you so, Lord.
Life is supposed to provide inspiration.
Instead, unfurl broken-heartedness
and regrets,
wrapping around me like a vise,
making it difficult to endure the pain.
Repeated sounds of thunder ring out
as screams of vile names are vibrated;
food is flung against the walls;
never is anything perfect.
A slap across the face
and the taste of blood,
a relationship with family
impossible—
they are imbeciles.
I am told a bullet would end it all;
it is done all the time.
"Oh, dear God, please help me."
I am a mirror, constantly shattered.
I refuse to think less of this body.
I am yearning to break free.
For just moments
I feel smidgens of contentment.
The quiet that settles over
peace within.
Inside
I am still broken
and damaged.
There are No feelings,
No emotion,
No peace;
there is just anger.
I hunger for Your touch
before the last bit of my soul is gone.
I am starving to be scooped into loving arms.
A wave of exquisite warmth overwhelms me.
It hadn't been the first time it had happened, so I knew what it was.
I found myself rising to my feet and bathed in the exquisite feeling.
1-31-2018
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