I Didn'T Listen

I Didn’t Listen

Thoughts of days gone by drift through my mind
Visions of you appear as though magic,
I know mistakes that left you behind
Results of our past, the outcome so tragic.
I lay alone in this cold large bed
I reach where you laid and find empty space.
I am closing my eyes, my hands cradle my head
I see you clearly, see your warm loving face.

The image dissolves, I can see you no more
It is replaced by the horror of that cold winters night.
The wreckage, the carnage, your death that I saw
I know it was me the cause of our plight.

I should have listened, I should have heard
You tried to stop me, you tried to dissuade
All fell on deaf ears, ignored and simply just spurned
The drinking had started, your warnings did fade.

My selfishness took two lives that fateful night.
What was celebration turned to horror so quick.
I shouldn’t have driven and I put up a fight.
Each time I remember, to my stomach I’m sick.

We were so happy, we were over the moon.
Becoming a family, prayers had been answered
Due to selfishness lights extinguished to soon
Love of my life, left dying and battered.

These months that have passed the pain doesn’t ease.
A father and mother is what we were to be.
I spoiled that dream like an evil disease.
Two loved ones gone, all because of me.

I look to the heavens I pray you forgive.
I know I deserve none, as it was I that sent you away
My wife and my child I didn’t deserve to outlive.
It should have been me on that horrible day.

The perils of drinking and driving cause unfathomable loss
Excuses not given nor taken from me
A line I jumped over, one I should never have crossed.
Pain, guilt and sadness all belonging to me.

I can’t make amends for the pain I have caused
The cowards way out is a way I can see.
My life should be ended not simply just paused.
But I must pay for my crime I don’t deserve to be free.

Copyright © John Steward | Year Posted 2018

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