Amanda Kinzer | + Follow Poet |
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I Chose Love He Chose You

I chose love, he chose you, I chose forever, he chose we’re through
I chose his smile to see for the rest of my days, he chose yours instead, it was always your face
I chose his voice that still resounds in my head, he chose yours to hear on the other end instead
I chose his heart, I chose his soul, he chose your heart not to break and to keep you whole

I chose his arms as my safe haven on those long summer nights, and he chose yours to lie in for the rest of his life
I chose his laughter that I can still hear oh so clear, and he chose to make you laugh instead and me, I get the tears
I chose his lips to kiss, I chose the memory of the taste, he chose the one that he first kissed so long ago, before he ever knew my face
I chose to say I love you back to him in that time, and he chose to whisper these words into your ear instead of into mine

I chose to save him from his past, from the darkness that he felt, and he chose to shine his light that I gave to him, to shine for someone else
I chose to say yes to his proposal, I chose the dream that would never be, and he chose to stay where he was back then, I guess where he needed to be
I chose to let him break my heart, I chose to be placed in that pain, and he chose to go back to you, he chose to leave me stained
I chose him in all of the ways that I knew how, and he chose to break me into and prayed that you would never find out

I chose to let him patronize me and tell me things that weren’t true, he chose that where he needed to be, was with you
I chose to accept his calls, to accept the scraps that he threw my way, and he chose to quietly hurt you then, although as far as you knew nothing had changed
I chose to go along with the charade knowing it wasn’t right, he chose to defile your dreams together he didn’t put up a fight
I chose to let him tell me lies and promise me things that would never come to be, he chose to run back to you and I question myself “Did he ever really leave?”

I chose to cry, I chose to writhe in my pain, he chose to leave me there, tears streaming down my face knowing that I would never be the same
I chose to forgive him although he doesn’t deserve as much, he chose to pretend as though he did nothing wrong so as not to lose your trust
I chose to do the wrong thing although it ate me up inside, he chose to move on with his life with no regard for mine
I chose to accept reality and the truth that I had sinned, and he chose to ignore the situation, that he had placed both of us in 

I chose to leave him alone and to stay silent for all of these years, he chose to diminish my memory so that he could alleviate his fears
I chose that I wasn’t healed, that I still had more to say, and he chose to respond back to me just like in those long-ago days
I chose to ask for closure because that is something I never received, and he chose to give it to me along with his bittersweet apologies
I chose to let him know that I was finally alright, and he chose to continue to speak with me long after he made everything right

I chose to accept his friendship because I believed that is what this was, he chose to string me along and I’m sorry, but I have had enough
I chose to let you know the truth that you need to hear, he chose to walk away once again after bringing me to tears
So, I choose now to tell you all that he has done, not only to me, but to you as well, the one that he claims he loves
He chose to love me then, he chose to lie with me, he chose to promise me a life filled with nothing but endless possibilities

He chose then to take away all that he had once given to you, and he placed it within my grasp, fabricating the truth
So, I choose to heal me and in doing so inevitably hurt you, I’m sorry that you must find out this way, but I am doing what I have to do
He really chose himself I see that now so clearly through the haze, I have nothing to be ashamed of I chose love then, and now his future is in your hands, do you choose love for him or hate?

Copyright © Amanda Kinzer | Year Posted 2022

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