I Can'T Understand
They say seek understanding,
but what if
you're the last one standing.
When their presence alone
ignites fear in your bones.
The way personalities shift
is a curse,
not a gift.
I do not understand,
does that make me bad?
I don't want to,
it shouldn't be something I have to do.
It makes my mind
spin
and spin.
The worst scenarios
in my head,
the worst of sins.
I know it's just as hard for them,
but i feels like
I'm banging at the door
and they won't let me in.
I'm stuck on high alert,
my desire to be empathetic is inert.
At heart I'm an introvert.
I hate to feel like
I'm in this cage,
rattling with rage,
because on the inside
I'm afraid.
What's been done to me,
can't be reversed,
the pain I feel
honestly hurts.
I'm someone who needs an exit plan,
somewhere where
I can dip my toes in the sand.
Don't sit and watch me stumble,
reach down
and give me a hand.
I don't want your indifference
or a solution that's on the fence.
I require reassurance
the devil & I no longer dance.
I won't wreck myself,
but I really do need some help.
I don't particularly enjoy
the cards I've been dealt,
they leave me wondering,
"What the hell?"
I refuse to bow down,
but I'll change my surroundings
to escape the sound.
Don't worry too much,
damned if I end up right
about my hunch,
it's all about to go south
and before that happens
I want out.
I'm irritated,
I'm far from situated,
all those sayings are outdated.
It's my choice,
to chose my type of noise.
I refuse to listen,
because there is little to no reason.
I know I'm crazy,
please don't hate me,
but know that I'm entitled
to my own opinion.
I don't understand,
forgive me if that's sinning.
Written in regards to being triggered by someone who acted much like my abusve ex.
Post Comments
Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.
Please
Login
to post a comment
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a
Premium Membership.
