I Can Finally Drive

My bicycle days are through Please help me spread the news I no longer have to be a 32 year old hermit Mom and Dad got me my permit I just bought a car that seats 5 Thanks to my parents I can finally drive Mom goes with me and my girlfriend out to eat Mom rides shotgun, my girl in the back seat While we are eating with live entertainment My girlfriend expresses how she doesn't like the car's seating arrangement So my mom drives and my girl is shotgun Now I am the lonely one We drop off my girlfriend and I ask my mom to remove the knife She says stop complaining, now you can drive The next night my Dad goes out with me and my buds We want to sit back and suck down a few suds Not on my watch, my Dad says My night out with the buds was disastrous After one beer, my Dad says you are too drunk to get behind the wheel He has no idea how this freedom of driving makes me feel My Mom and Dad are smothering me, my social life will never survive With them around, it look as if I will never truly drive Now it's Mom's turn to escort me, guess where we go My girl and Mom in the front seats, we stop at Domino's We all three sit in the car and wait for the pizza to get done Mom says no a/c, let's enjoy the sun I begin a waterfall of sweat Mom says look at you, you're all wet Mom asks for extra napkins when the pizza is delivered to the car Mom says tonight is Friday, let's park by the lake and enjoy the stars At the lake, I will drown myself, if I take a dive I am going back to the bicycle, I will never again attempt to drive