I Came Upon

I came upon a man today
Not socially distant in any way,
But sad and staring off into the sky,
I looked straight into his tearing eye.

What is it, I asked,  that has colored you blue?  
Is there any one that I may get for you?
Either by phone, or text or even by Lyft?
That may keep your heart from sailing adrift?

He shook his head no, while wiping his face,
And said My life was one big disgrace.
I've blown all my money on women 
And cars 
Not to mention the stacks I left at the bars.

But that's not what makes me unreasonably sad,
It's what I never did, what I thought that I had. .
I thought all the while that I was alone,
And could count on no one, my ego was blown.

But the truth was so simple, that I missed the boat,
And now my emotions are stuck in my throat.
I wish I had seen the spirit of life
It would have saved me years of strife. 

Wasted hours of godless pursuits
Tasting all of the darkest fruits,
To see, in the end, my last hour is here
And all I've to show is sadness and fear.

The decisions I made were part of choice,
To never let anyone drown out my voice.
God was for losers with half of a brain,
Or blind hypocrites that just jumped on the train.

But it wasn't religion that was calling my name,
Just a faint whisper of the key to the game,
You're free to go your own selfish way,
Or choose to rise above all the fray.

When you draw your last breath, 
There will still be some time
That you can respond to love,
In an affirmative cry. 
I am sorry I wasted the hours and days,
You gave me to use to spread joy and praise.

But the silence looked through me
And saw I was lying, 
And just grasping for anything
To avoid my dying.
So as you listen to me now,
Know I have lost my only call
To be with the Love that created us all.

I walk these empty beaches now
For eternity and a day,
While others stop and listen to what I have to say. 
My fate is set in stone and hope, forever gone,
As my soul drifts from man to man,
Never to be done.

For hell is not flames nor fire, nor blood,
Nor gnashing of teeth or drowning in mud.
Hell is eternity of knowing that I
Chose my needs over God's, so each day I die.

Copyright © John Rockk-Fiordelisi | Year Posted 2020

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