I Always Loved You

I held you in my arms when you were just a baby boy. No one could ever know what I felt for you, the love, the pride, the joy. I know you’ve wondered all of your life why I wasn’t there for you. I knew I couldn’t win the fight, I knew what I must do. You were taken from me and put into the hands of those who loved you dearly. “It probably was the best thing for you”, I thought, when I could think clearly. The emptiness that I constantly felt was something that never left me. But I knew you were taken care of, but things weren’t the way they should be. Then all at once you were blessed with a brand new loving mom. She held you and loved you every day as if you were her own. Now this lucky little boy had two moms that loved him with all they had. The only difference was that one of them had nothing, the other, had you and your dad. The hardest thing I’ve ever done was to give my boy away. But I had to keep telling myself that there would come a day,.. When I would finally got to pick you up and hold you close to me. But that day never came and again I kept saying, “It’s better for him this way.” Now all of those years had passed without ever hearing from you. And suddenly one day I heard from you and and all at once I knew. That you had finally forgiven me for things I couldn’t make better. You’ll never know the tears I shed on that day I got your letter. You’re all grown up now, and have a wife and a beautiful baby girl. But I know that you now know the pain of losing your whole world. It’s not anyone's fault you see, that things don’t always work out. I know that doesn’t ease the pain or take away the doubt. But, God gave you to me, then he gave you to me again, And I’m sure that things will be OK, it’s all part of His master plan. So, now that you have given up your life to God’s own Son, Rest assured that if you believe, His will for you will be done. Copyright: February 14, 2006