Hurt like a dog on a leash

I’m a dog stuck on a lease I’m stuck in this non release stupid thing why won’t let me go free? Why don’t they care I got feelings too? And I can feel pain too I can’t leave the house cause he’s gonna get mad? Hitting me asking me to get up .why do you hurt me like this I thought you loved me but you like to see me black and blue in my face you hit my eye all the time I can’t leave I try everyday that he gets mad at me and snaps on the daily I even had someone to pick me up cus he found my phone slammed it onto a wall and didn’t let me call for help while he choked me on the floor while I’m begging for my life nobody helped me that night they ignored what happened and turned the blind eye that’s America tho wtf you expect from the American eyes he said don’t run away my trophy wife so now I’m stuck make him nice and proud by being what he wants me to be even if I’m not really happy I even called my mom to help get me out the situation but she said I put myself there and gotta figure out my own solution but why you just wanna see struggle why would you let him hit me and take his side in everything? She said that I’m a crazy bi tch cause she wanna up my mental she tryna keep me clear from my whole family tryna get them to turn cus my bipolar 2 is worsening I don’t wanna leave him to I’m stuck I feel groomed and I can get up but what’s the point I’m alone in the world no friends and all, family was supposed to be family but they never helped and came through for me they wanna me to rot and try to get my own help I can’t really leave him he really won’t let me he chains up my brain like it’s on a fu cking leashe I can’t escape I feel like if I do I’m gonna be alone on my own with nothing and I don’t wanna feel that pain again, not having not even a friend but Atleast around that time my family was around but now my bipolar got worse nobody wants me around except for the one person who put me on a tight rope I can’t break so now I feel reliant on them he gonna help me out one day I am my fathers daughter so I can definitely change him only issue is as much I wanna believe that’s true, I can’t change someone I’ve been tryna change for 3 years I have to lie to myself that I’m happy and stable in this toxic ass house just pray one day I make it out I spill my guts to get it out please don’t come at me and call me a clown cus I get it I feel as stupid as people think I am now they killed me inside and now I’m a walking piece of rotting flesh on the inside out