Hunger
The feeling of dread as I hear,
“Come for dinner.”
All I can truly think about:
“How many calories?”
“Will I gain weight?”
I’m truly scared that this is my fate.
Sitting in front of my toilet,
Two fingers stuck down my throat—
It’s a good feeling,
All I can do is boast.
I haven’t eaten in weeks;
It’s not foreign.
Is this really my calling?
They always say to me,
“You need to eat.”
But I don’t want to indulge
Into any delicious treat.
It’s too fattening.
Fat.
It’s my biggest fear to gain those pounds.
It’s scary, so I won’t eat.
After a while I couldn’t eat,
And it led me to no sleep.
Keep.
It’s not hard to keep words like these a secret;
In this world, beauty is all I believe in.
Grievance.
I grieve for the old me,
The one who didn’t care about food troubles,
Or the fact that I want a McDouble.
But I can’t—
I truly can’t.
It’s a struggle to not eat.
I swear it’s killing me.
I can’t stomach it.
I’ll be like this forever...
Well, I’ll just have to dwell in it.
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