How's That Again
How’s That Again?
Actual newspaper headlines taken from
http://www.alphadictionary.com/fun/headlines.html
Poem constructed by Elton Camp
A headline writer had the following to say:
“Child’s Death Ruins Couple’s Holiday”
The image produced we have to pardon:
“Child’s Stool Great for Use in Garden”
Of other associations, have no fears:
“Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures”
I didn’t expect this to happen so soon:
“Dealers will Hear Car Talk at Noon”
In storing his tools the man was so lax:
“Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax”
Want to see this myself:
“Eye Drops Off Shelf”
What a shock to his spouse:
“Farmer Bill Dies in House”
I wonder if old granny though this was fun:
“Grandmother of Eight Makes Hole in One”
A statement this obvious will make the reader smile:
“If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly it May Last a While”
So to have greater charms:
“Iraqi Head Seeks Arms”
What possibly could answering this gain us?
“Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?”
The justice system can be transcendent:
“Juvenile Court Tries Shooting Defendant”
If you decide to test it, better be stealthy:
“Kicking Baby Considered To Be Healthy”
It’s a more effective than them just being talkers:
“Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers”
Folks like this, starvation can never slaughter:
“Quarter of a Million Chinese Live on Water”
In modesty, please keep her well draped:
“Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped”
In a careless newspaper this headline was read:
“Reagan Wins on Budget, but More Lies Ahead”
Surely his neck holds up his rosary:
“Robber Holds up Albert’s Hoisery”
Though losing her leg left the woman in a fix:
“Shot Off Woman’s Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66”
This surely would put their work into a deficiency:
“Smokers are Productive, but Death Cuts Efficiency”
It’s hard to see how it could really be any other way:
“Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say”
This feat I’d also much like to see:
“Stolen Painting Found by Tree”
Surely, ethics such forbids:
“Teacher Strikes Idle Kids”
You mean it didn’t increase?
“War Dims Hope for Peace”
For her, the meal couldn’t be merry:
“William Kelly was Fed Secretary”
I plan to write another poem like this
So please check back so as not to miss
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