How To Recognise a Sheep

How to recognise a sheep - let me tell you, dear The rules are simple, so take note of what I tell you here. You can rule out any creature that has fingers, fur, or wings Amongst its decorations, for sheep don't have these things Neither will you see it with a scarf on, or a hat Unless you see it eating one - a sheep just might do that. But you don't see them on bicycles, and rarely on a train They will not use umbrellas, not even in the rain They are not messy like a pig, or grumpy like a goat They do not delve in politics, though many of them vote. A sheep's by nature placid, it will never get annoyed Its brain is strained by nothing - it will contemplate the void, But mind and body wander, it is prone to go astray And it runs in one direction which is, typically, away. If you see it climbing high, or swinging in the trees These are not the sort of things that sheep can do with ease Typically, your average sheep can normally be found Standing with four little hooves placed firmly on the ground. If he's standing in a field, on four legs and on grass If he does not look that he'll molest you if you pass If he's looking woolly, in body and in mind With a woolly face in front, and woolly tail behind If he looks around with the tranquillity of sleep That will be a sheep, my dear, That will be a sheep!