How To Pray For Pigs
How To Pray For Pigs
(didactic)
Place your hands together
Point them towards heaven
Use the sky for guidance
Use it as a reference if necessary
Make sure each finger touches the other and no other
Eat breakfast
Feed the pigs old food
Keep good food in storage
Buy pig health insurance
Buy pig life insurance for insurance
Purchase a gun because two is too many
Buy holy bullets (the kind that makes holes)
Use your left hand to shoot the gun
Cover your eyes with your right hand
Fire at will in the direction of the pigs
Pray that they don’t die
Ask yourself why you are shooting at pigs
Pray to God for forgiveness
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