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How To Pray For Pigs (didactic) Place your hands together Point them towards heaven Use the sky for guidance Use it as a reference if necessary Make sure each finger touches the other and no other Eat breakfast Feed the pigs old food Keep good food in storage Buy pig health insurance Buy pig life insurance for insurance Purchase a gun because two is too many Buy holy bullets (the kind that makes holes) Use your left hand to shoot the gun Cover your eyes with your right hand Fire at will in the direction of the pigs Pray that they don’t die Ask yourself why you are shooting at pigs Pray to God for forgiveness
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