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how I wish you were real

how I wish you were real
then i would share with you my pain

I would tell you of my life
battered by the pelting rains 
and torn in the raging storm
in the pieces my mind is

I would tell you of the many days
I laboured in the scorching sun
in the palace made of stone and sand
with tears swallowed by the heat

I would tell you of the many times
I lay awake in the bitterness of the night
waiting for the crow to come back
but stay I did until my back ached
and years flowed no more 

But you are not real
You are just someone I imagined
a friend I created to carry me through the tides
an anchor that was to hold me when I failed
when I faltered and fell,

and yet here I am, falling...
deeper and deeper, further from you
you don't dare raise your hand
to convince me,
 that even in your silence you're there...
you stand still, mute like a forgotten statue

you are fading 
and someday maybe my pain too
one day my heart will tame
and were never real
you' re just a friend I imagined 
a figment I created to deal
with the horrors my life would become.

(c) Moliehi Molupe 2020

Copyright © | Year Posted 2020

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