How Could You
I’d give anything
for just one more
day.
To listen to you
tell me,
“Steph it’s going to
be okay.”
But that’s just it.
I hear you in my
mind.
Your voice calling
out,
peace I just can’t
find.
I see you
everywhere,
in everything I do.
A moment or memory,
it all comes back to
you.
I know you’re happy
and healthy up
there,
but down here on
earth,
I’m left gasping for
air.
I know it pains you
when you see me
crying,
but mom please
understand,
down here I’m dying.
You were my life
line,
my reason for being.
You left me here
alone,
in a world so
unforgiving.
The emotions are
coming.
I can feel them
brewing.
Perhaps creating
this poem,
will be my undoing.
I’ve been strong so
far,
I’ve kept up my
head.
I’ve suppressed my
feelings,
but the anger has
spread.
Spread through my
body,
my heart and soul.
I can’t fight any
longer,
it has taken its
toll.
I feel like a mime,
my emotions I hide,
but not anymore
I can’t let them
slide.
No, not anymore,
I’m about to
explode,
I need to let go
of this heavy load.
Off of my shoulders
I need to be free
of all of the
frustration
eating the insides
of me.
The anger built up
is eating me alive.
I need to pull it
together,
my life I need to
revive.
Now I’m talking in
circles,
to the point, I’ll
get.
There will come a
time,
but I can’t forgive
you yet.
Can you really say
you fought?
Or did you let
yourself go?
I’ve never known you
to be selfish,
but you had to know.
How could you give
up
on your daughter and
son?
This is surely a
battle
you could have won.
Although I hate it,
my anger is directed
at you.
Why didn’t you
fight?
There had to be more
you could do.
How could you leave
me
so broken and alone?
How could you give
up?
How could you not
have known?
Copyright © Sienna Ethylpen | Year Posted 2013
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