House Dragons

If you are plagued with dragons in your basement, And you have tried, without success, to drive them out. If you need advice and dragon information, That's what this short discourse is all about. Now, you can't depend on pest exterminators, Unless, perhaps, you call Saint George himself, And pied pipers are of very little value, As all dragons are notoriously tone deaf. Since the riddance of house dragons is a hassle That you might not be prepared to suffer through, You might find compromise and coexistence Is the sensiblest thing that you can do. The rumor that all dragons are ferocious, Is a rumor we could not substantiate. As to whether they are prone to making mischief, Its a subject that's still open to debate. Some say dragons are quite friendly creatures. Why, I've heard that they make gentle, loving pets, And it's said that if one treats them with affection, The great, scaly fellows never will forget. But if you choose a dragon as a house pet, Your fire insurance rates are sure to soar, Unless you teach your dragon not to hiccup, And to breathe into the furnace when he snores. On the feeding of domesticated dragons (We have saved this information till the end): They feed mainly on bad dreams and mustang nightmares, And a local politician now and then.