Hopes For a Drowning

I'm waiting for someone to say
It will all be
Okay.
It's a simple thing to say, but there's no one.

I'm drowning in the air
Waiting for someone
To care
So I can just let go.

I'm waiting.
I'm right here.
You're so near,
But far from my reach.

So I'll sit and cry,
Too numb to die:
I'm waiting to drown.

I walk the same steps
Everyday,
They're haunting me.
I tell the same lies 
Everyday,
They're breaking me down,
Making me nothing.

Please
Tell me
There's something more.
I've opened every
Single door,
But I'm just waiting to drown.

Turn
This
Thing
Turn this thing
Back around now.

I feel like I never knew how...

Show me you don't
Hate me more than
I hate myself,
Or else...

I'll be waiting,
Waiting here by the window,
Wond'ring why time
Is so goddamn slow.
And I'm waiting,
Waiting and maybe
I'll hold my breath,
Crying out tears
'Til there's no more left
Inside...

I'll let
Them all
Fall down;
I'm just waiting
To drown.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2008

Poem

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Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace