Hope of the Ages

I'm getting older, Father Time's my foe: I cannot trust a fart, and pee all night - have ceased to count how many times I go; I'm to and fro the loo 'till morning's light. I've gained a rounded tum and lost my hair, my flesh has started sagging, going south, the part that stood erect is hanging there, and plastic dentures fill my grumpy mouth. But now I'm old, my gas is part of life; no longer clenching tight to hold it in. I will not bother searching for a wife - I'm flattered if they'd think we'd 'live in sin'! Though all's not bad - no oozing teenage spot; I may be craggy but not polka dot... * not autobiographical!!!!! for Carolyn's Hope contest