Holding

i am holding
everything i've ever known
in my hand
better yet than never
i am shaking
like a king upon a throne
in this land
noone holds me by a tether
to this tree
that is all that i have left
and its fruit
that i cannot bear to know
now i see
a tear of blood upon the weft
now my fright
has my life across the bow

and i'm shaking
and i'm trying
and i cannot hide away
from the raging
and the faking
that i'm facing every day

my heart racing
and the aching
that you'll never ever see
is the one thing
that i'm thinking
when i'm gone will set me free

when you try to undress me
do you live inside a world
where it's okay to be free
if you do what you are told

"i won't wake you
 i won't kill you
 i won't try to hide away
 if you leave me
 if you bleed me
 i won't tell you anyway

 there is NOTHING YOU CAN DO
 I AM EVERYTHING TO YOU
 will you cry if i can't leave you
 every night with nothing true"

i'm not sleeping
i am weeping
for the time when i get by
in a day
for the way
when i think i'll never die

i am aching
for the taking
of my life by anyone
it's not happ'nin
my'imagin'ation
passing through the setting sun

i wanna be
so complicated
so unfrustrated for the end
i only need
to be the one
that can see you made amends

i don't need no other men
not after everything we've been
i'm the loneliest to know
the only one i've loved is you

but there is nothing i will be
if you cannot sleep with me
but if you touch me there again
i will cut your heart in two

"i won't wake you
 i won't kill you
 i won't try to hide away
 if you leave me
 if you bleed me
 i won't tell you anyway
 
 there is NOTHING YOU CAN DO
 I AM EVERYTHING TO YOU
 will you cry if i can't leave you
 every night with nothing true"


... when i'm alone again
i will try to live a lie
it's maybe better... 
than to wish i wanna die...

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