hold me

i bundle my head into my arms and grasp at my hair for a sense of self i am alive i am told i can function i dont feel as if i can function i feel dirty i keep scratching and scrubbing at my skin i can feel the hands crawling around my body like a spider all i want in life is to be happy but such things are out of reach why cant you just make this feeling stop? make this constant torture freeze in time for a moment and listen to my words kill this pain buried deep within my cries will echo through out the room youll realize i am troubled not worse than others but in need of help