Him and Her

Here I am, caught in a terrible web of emotion, My heart, entangled with lovesick pain. He is the embodiment of every longing I’ve ever felt, Every dream of the perfect love I’ve imagined for myself. He has the looks, with his beautiful waving hair and sparkling eyes full of mischief. He has the charming personality that perfectly matches my own. He has the sense of humor that flows so perfectly with mine to my very soul. He has so many common interests to fan over together, loving them as much as I. Yet, she shares this very same affection for him. So I am forced to make a choice. Lose my closest friend, or lose my perfect lover. I hate this. I hate choices. I hate feelings. But I have to decide. And so I choose. And I make the wrong choice. After all, there is no right choice. I choose to suffer, sacrificing my overwhelming longing to protect my friendship. To protect my friend from the same heartache I now must bear. I do not even simply stand to the side for her. No, I made my choice. I will follow through to the end, no matter how much it tears me apart. She deserves the best. He deserves the best. And neither happens if I claim him for myself. In painful irony, I offer my unwavering support. I actively try my best to bring her to him, knowing that it means I will never be his. I remain close to him in “friendship”, pushing down my unrequited love. I am torn, trapped between the magnetic pull to him and my obligation to her. Every shared moment becomes a double-edged sword, His company bringing overwhelming joy and intolerable heartache. I am stuck wanting to draw near him, yet having to stay away, Tearing at the seams of my heart. In my pain, I remain silent. I tell neither my friend nor him of the way I feel. It will only cause a bigger mess for all of us. I stand on my own in a silent battle waging within, Grappling with the agony of my unspoken confessions, Delicately holding the balance between loyalty and longing. I show nothing of my own aching heart, caught in the crossfires of this ongoing war of emotions. And so I remain, caught between him and her, the longing for a lover and the loyalty to a friend.