Him

I thought it was over.
I thought, "this is the end."
But looking back,
I realize
That was just the push
To find who really I am.

You cannot control my thoughts
Nor my feelings.
You cannot control me.
Ever again. 

I realize now 
that you were simply a stepping stone.
I won't say if it was up or down.
It made me my own person.
It made me make decisions for myself.
I have my own life now.
I don't have to spend it pleasing you.

He hasn't replaced you.
No one can.
Because you see 
I never loved you.
I thought I did. 
I always made excuses 
For your behavior toward me.
I don't have to make excuses for him.
I don't need to justify why he's treating me so horrible.
Because he doesn't.

No, he didn't replace you.
No one can.
He completely obliterated you.
You are nothing to me.
Because he has shown me what love really is.
You are nothing
There's no room for you to be something.
Because he is everything.

He taught me that
Love doesn't hurt
Love doesn't make you hate yourself
Love does make you cry yourself to sleep.
What we had wasn't love. 
It was loving the idea of being in love.
I never loved you.

You should like him too.
He wrestled in high school.
He even likes getting a little tipsy 
Every now and again.
Yeah, you two would be good friends.
I'm glad you weren't though
Because then I would've never met him.
He's my best friend.
I could never say that about you.
I love him
and I tell him everyday.
I could never tell you.
Yeah, you should like him too.
Because of him,
I don't hate you anymore.
I forgive you for everything
And that's a miracle.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2014

Poem

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