Hiding Behind Secrets Hurts

The affairs I had while we exchanged messages and winks, were kept from you for unmentionable, selfish reasons... hiding behind secrets hurts when they are not told; will they ever be known to all as any unspoken, shameful word? I was such a pretentious guy faking smiles, making you see Heaven with pretty butterflies... didn't you sense that something wasn't quite right, didn't you want to know the fear of what it was all about? The attractive women I softly touched left their perfumed scent on this skin and these clothes, even lipstick on these cheeks as I left that candle-lit hotel room, promising them to return on another evening... many signs you missed, or didn't see them as too threatening. I should blame you for not letting my secrets surface on a sea of lies, all you cared for was passionate touches and endless, sensual nights; and 'although your suspicions were unfounded, your doubts remained... oh, deceived lover, how could you have not felt the touch of a cold hand? All that I have confessed without shame was too unspeakable yesterday, but today you have come face to face with this plain truth as hard as clay: you looked to me as someone honest and kind, filling your fantasies with fancy words; had you been more aware: you would have told me that hiding behind secrets hurts!